Statistics Means Never Having To Say You're Certain
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Statistics Means Never Having To Say You’re Certain

A lighthearted and (hopefully) humorous take on the world of statistics and those of us who make our way in it.

Hope you enjoy it!

Statistics Means Never Having to Say You’re Certain by Jay Arthur

Statistics means never having to say you’re certain
My hypotheses are Null
I’m just trying to cull
The signal from the noise
Because statistics means never having to say you’re certain

P values can’t be trusted
My analysis is busted
Because statistics means never having to say you’re certain

The alternative hypothesis
Is cramping my consciousness
Because statistics means never having to say you’re certain

My data isn’t normal
Tukey’s test seems so formal
Because statistics means never having to say you’re certain

You can prove the means are different
Equivalent but not the same
Because statistics means never having to say you’re certain

Wish they told me when I started
The results could all be charted
Because statistics means never having to say you’re certain

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