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Take a Step Back

Last weekend, my wife and I got in a spat about something, I can't even remember what it was about, but it was a "big deal." Have you ever been in a situation like that where you are sure you're right and the other person is wrong? Maybe with your spouse, your children or a co-worker?

It's easy to stay stuck and let the feeling fester, but that's not the key to a good relationship.

Take A Step Back

Fortunately I remembered what comedians do; they take a step back and ask themselves "What's funny about this?" While you don't have to be a comedian to do it, taking a step back can be a great idea.

Taking a step back is what psychologists call dissociation. In a simple act of mental gymnastics, you step back out of your body and take a position where you can observe yourself and the other person.

The moment I got out of my body and into an observer position, I could see my wife's point of view and, more importantly, how our two points of view could be resolved and dovetailed to get the outcome we both wanted. When I approached her with my newfound insights, she relaxed; I relaxed, and we found it easy to move forward together.

I'll bet you can remember at least one time in your life when you were able to take a step back and get some perspective on a thorny situation. Why don't we do that more often?

Here's My Point

Are you spending too much time defending your point of view and not enough time investigating ways to create more shared success? Maybe all you need to do is take a step back.