Six Sigma Jokes

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Jay Arthur
888-468-1537
303-756-9144
KnowWare International, Inc.
DBA LifeStar

2253 S. Oneida
Ste 3D
Denver, CO 80224


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  Using the basic format described in Your Seventh Sense, I came up with the following jokes about Six Sigma:

You know what's weird about Six Sigma?
  • Implementations fail about half of the time...that's somewhere between 1-2 sigma.
You know what's scary about Six Sigma?
  • You can buy a black belt certification online from a Nigerian prince.
  • You know that Seven Sigma is just waiting in the wings to make you feel bad.
You know what's hard about Six Sigma?
  • Implementation. The methods and tools are easy.
  • You have to convince people who think they're already doing a good job that they could be doing an infinitely better one. It's like trying to teach the Pope about prayer or CEOs about ethics.
  • You have to overcome people's mortal fears: math, statistics, and change.
  • You can lead people to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
  • Ask any man about his favorite team and he can recite their statistics like ESPN. Ask him about defects per million opportunities and he'll wilt like a flower in Death Valley.
You know what's stupid about Six Sigma?
  • The acronyms. What idiot coined the term DMAIC? It sounds like an incurable skin ailment.
  • SS - Isn't that the acronym used by the Gestapo?
  • Most people have no idea what sigma is or why you only want a half dozen of them. Why not a whole dozen? Does it come with eggroll?
What's your idea about what's hard, weird, scary, or stupid about Six Sigma? Email them to the address below and I'll edit and add the best to this page.
 

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