Six Sigma Jokes

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Jay Arthur
888-468-1537
303-756-9144
KnowWare International, Inc.
DBA LifeStar
2253 S. Oneida
Ste 3D
Denver, CO 80224

We work with companies
that want to fire up their profits using
Lean Six Sigma

Copyright © 2011

• Implementations fail about half of the time...that's somewhere between 1-2 sigma.

• You can buy a black belt certification online from a Nigerian prince.
• You know that Seven Sigma is just waiting in the wings to make you feel bad.

• Implementation. The methods and tools are easy.
• You have to convince people who think they're already doing a good job that they could be doing an infinitely better one. It's like trying to teach the Pope about prayer or CEOs about ethics.
• You have to overcome people's mortal fears: math, statistics, and change.
• You can lead people to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
• Ask any man about his favorite team and he can recite their statistics like ESPN. Ask him about defects per million opportunities and he'll wilt like a flower in Death Valley.

• The acronyms. What idiot coined the term DMAIC? It sounds like an incurable skin ailment.
• SS - Isn't that the acronym used by the Gestapo?
• Most people have no idea what sigma is or why you only want a half dozen of them. Why not a whole dozen? Does it come with eggroll?

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